180883 - Barhopping with a baby

After the breathtaking Skyline Drive and the breathleaving Drive Through West Virginia, we found ourselves in one of my favorite states, Kentucky - where the grass is blue and the age of consent is 16. We spent about two hours meandering down a scenic byway admiring the rolling hills and grazing thoroughbreds. The drive was enjoyable if somewhat uneventful, interrupted only by Kyle wondering why the grass was actually green and staring a little too long at each high school that we passed.

After about eight hours, our longest drive of the trip so far, we ended up at Mammoth Cave National Park. Because we arrived relatively late in the afternoon, we decided to push the cave tour back to the following morning and called it an early night. We set up camp, cooked a couple cans of Chef Boyardee, and watched a Dale Earhardt fan feeding deer out of his hand.

The next morning we awoke early for a 9:30AM cave tour. They offer almost a dozen different tours of Mammoth Cave, which cover various sections of its 350 miles of underground chambers. We chose the Violet City Lantern Tour - a 3 mile tour lit only by lantern light. Upon arrival, we were met by our Ranger guide Joe and his sidekick Bill. Bill had a little withered hand like Eric Hitchmo. At one point Kyle took a flash photo in the cave and Bill snapped, "I don't agree with that in the work place." Do you not know who Eric Hitchmo is? Who's been to the Coventry Conference?

Immediately following the cave tour, we hopped back in the Gray Ghost and set sail for Smithland, Kentucky, just outside of Paducah. My Grandma Gray, who passed away earlier this year, lived on an awesome farm in Smithland for over 20 years. A lot of my best memories as a kid happened on that farm – catching snakes, turtles, and frogs to put in my makeshift terrarium/kiddie pool; playing late night games of penny Rummy 500; and drawing from my grandmother’s infinite well of quirky Southern jargon.

While a young, newlywed couple live on the farm now, they were gracious enough to let Kyle and I stay in the camper in back. Thanks Dan and Sarah! Dan grows organic tomatoes and varied other produce for sale at a local farmer’s market, while Sarah takes care of their 14 day-old baby girl Lucy. In addition to letting us stay in the camper, Dan and Sarah were nice enough to take us out on the town to a local restaurant/bar called Flamingo Row. Lucy was leaning towards having a low-key night in, just staring at her fingers and pooping herself, but at the last second decided to tag along. Apparently, bringing newborn babies to bars is pretty standard fare in Kentucky, as my circus haircut got far more crooked stares than an 8 lb baby.

Back at the farm, we listened to an old CD of Dan’s bluegrass band and were regaled by crazy stories of his days as a hitchhiking Gypsy musician. This morning, we said our goodbyes and hit the road.

I assure you, our time with Dan was not nearly as awkward as this picture would suggest. Off to Jackson Mississippi friends.

- Sean